


Just My Luck

by charleyjlogan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Father!Snape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleyjlogan/pseuds/charleyjlogan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the summer before Harry's sixth year when his body suddenly goes through some exceptional changes. He now has to decide between accepting his new fate or going back to the lie he used to live? With his friends and love will he be able to overcome the new obstacle in his way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Difference In Apperance

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Okay so this my first story, hopefully you'll enjoy it. I'll accept any helpful criticism and advice so feel free to leave me a comment. I don't have a beta so I hope there isn't too many grammar and spelling mistakes.
> 
> This will eventually be a Harry/Hermione story as well as Snape/Harry father relationship.

Harry Potter looked at his reflection was unease; his appearance had changed dramatically over the past few weeks of summer and it seemed to be a rather familiar look though he couldn’t place it. He ran a hand through his hair and frowned it no longer resembled an unkempt bush but sat neatly and straight atop of his head. His eyes where the same shade of emerald but his face had changed rather dramatically, instead of been the carbon copy of his father his was sure he looked a lot more like his mother. His cheekbones seemed higher more defined but yet his face had a more softer and fairer look. He pulled a comb through his hair and he had to agree it seemed to look a lot better then the unruly mess that usually graced his head.

 

He looked down at his clothes and couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth flood over his body at the sight. Mrs. Weasly had sent him a package full of Charley’s old clothes and as much as he hated accepting gifts, or hand-me-downs, the fact he was now wearing clothes that fit him made him a lot more confident then he was. It seemed that although Charley’s shoulders where quite a bit wider than his the rest of their body shape must be relatively the same. The t-shirts seemed to cling in the right places or at least that’s what he thought, he’d never had really been into fashion. Glancing again at the reflection he couldn’t help but admire his new clothes and although they looked worn but it knowing they fit him and that he didn’t look like he was wearing a sack made him feel a whole lot better about himself.  The only thing that had stayed the same over the past few weeks were the battered pair of trainers he had, had since he was thirteen. He wasn’t too bothered; he didn’t think many people really looked down to see what people where wearing on their feet.

 

Quickly washing his face and brushing his teeth his headed back to his bedroom at the Dursley’s. They too had been shocked over Harry’s change in appearance whenever they had seem him, which wasn’t often, however it seemed this had caused them to keep an even bigger distance between themselves and Harry. He actually preferred this, at least he was left alone to his own devices instead off been forced to clean and serve the bigoted family.

 

He closed his bedroom door quietly behind him and looked around the cramped space. It seemed he’d spread out a lot of his school things this year instead of keeping them confided to his case. Collecting everything he knew was needed he shoved them untidily in his case, including the few pieces of second hand clothes Mrs. Weasly had sent to him. He checked the time on his beside clock that Dudley had broken years before, Harry had fixed it out of boredom one summer, and noticed he only had to wait five more minutes until he left the Dursley’s for another year.  He felt his heart beat a little faster with anticipation, the arrival of his friends had been something he had been counting down since he had left Hogwarts for the summer and he couldn’t wait to see his two best friends again.

 

There was a clatter and squeak downstairs, which caused Harry to look up at the clock again. He had gotten lost in thoughts of his two longest friends and he knew that the sound of breaking china must have been the arrival he had been waiting for. He grabbed the empty owl cadge that was sitting on his desk and began to lump his case downstairs, he could hear raised voices in the sitting room which caused Harry to chuckle. The Durlsey’s hated anything magical and the idea of having anything to do with ‘his lot’ in their house. It become a withstanding joke since the summer of fourth year between the twin Weasley’s and Ron to cause as much havoc as they could when they came to pick him up.

 

Leaving his case and the empty cadge in the hallway he appeared in the doorway of the living room to see four red haired men, a rather large man and a girl with short multi-colored spiked hair stood in front of the Dursley’s. It appeared they had caused the three only family members he had left a lot of distress as they sat whimpering squished onto one sofa.

 

Harry had entered the room unnoticed but it was Tonks who saw him first letting out a wolf whistle and her usually greeting, “Wotcher Harry!” She eyed him up as she made her way towards him and hugged him tightly, “You’ve changed haven’t you.”

 

It was Ron and Hermione who embraced him next with Ron grumbling in his ear, “Blimey mate.”

 

It was Mad-Eye hurried everyone along groaning about time for cozy tea parties later. He gripped onto Harry’s shoulder and leant, “Was going to be Dumbledore who picked you up, sure you heard, change plan we’re apparting from outside the barriers. That’s why there are a good few of us, to protect ya.”

 

Harry nodded he heard about the change of plan two days ago, he hadn’t questioned it. Dumbledore had told him at the end of last summer he was preparing for certain things and he understood the Headmaster was busy. Hoping Dumbledore would keep his promise of informing Harry of Order business from now on he hopped he would find out soon what had stopped the Headmaster from picking him up.

 

It didn’t take them long to organize themselves, Mr. Weasley and Tonks was taking Harry while Fred took Hermione, George took Ron and Moody went last to make sure there was no trouble. A horrid turning feeling appeared in his stomach and all of sudden he felt like was been stretched and squeezed all different directions, a tightness closed in on his chest but before he had chance to gasp he landed safely just outside of the Burrow.

 

“Protective charms,” Tonks explained, “No one can apparate in or out of the Burrow grounds.”

 

It made sense that if Harry were to stay with them for the summer that there home would need to be protected, not for his sake but for theirs. If the Death Eaters came looking from him they wouldn’t pass up on an offer to kill a few order members along the way It was for there own safety.

 

“So what’s with the change Harry?” Tonks asked ruffling his hair, “not that it doesn’t suit you, you look hot,” she muttered into his ear giving him a wink before tripping over her own foot and almost falling flat on her face.

 

She grinned up at him as she balanced her self and stood up straight, “I don’t know, it just happened,” He told her shrugging,

 

Tonks nodded, “That’s what happens when you start growing.”

 

They’d finally made there way up the long path of the Burrow and the front door when Mrs. Weasley swung it open and pulled Harry into her arms. The sixteen year old felt himself relax and he wrapped his arms around the women, she had been more like a mum to him over the past few years then he could ever have hoped for. She could hear her muttering that he was ever so skinny and that a bowl of stew would be ready for him in a minute as she let go, not once did she appear to notice Harry’s knew appearance but the ragged man at the table did. It seemed Remus Lupin looked even more disheveled then the last time Harry had seen him and thick black circles rested under his eyes. Harry was unsure whether or not embrace his old mentor, after Sirius had passed away at the end of the school year the werewolf wrote to Harry often, it appeared his Dad’s only friend left felt he needed to take up Sirius’ place.

 

It turned out the decision was made for him as Lupin wearily stood up and embraced the young man in front of him, “You look different Harry, different but well.”

 

Harry didn’t answer but as he pulled away offered the greying man a small smile. He felt well, in fact he felt on top of the world. He couldn’t decide if it was because he was back in a place he felt loved and welcomed or because of the new change in him but either way he sat with a full heart. The rest of the collection party sat down around the table as Mrs. Weasley placed steaming hot bowls of stew in front of them all, it appeared it was that moment the older Weasley witch noticed Harry’s new appearance. Her eyes took a second look over the boy and he suddenly felt extremely embarrassed, as she looked him up and down.

 

“Oh Harry I knew Charlie’s old clothes would fit you,” she mumbled patting his head before smiling gently at him.

 

Unfortunately Harry had chosen this moment to stuff a rather large spoonful of stew in his mouth and had to swallow before he could reply, “Yeah thanks again Mrs. Weasley it really means a lot.”

 

The red-haired Mum beamed at him but didn’t say anymore on the subject as she fussed over her three sons that where sat at the table.

 

With a full belly Mrs. Weasley sent them all up to bed, Harry bid goodnight to everyone and followed Ron up the stairs. He felt comfy and at home in Ron’s room. It was welcoming to see the tattered posters of the Chuddley Canons and the makeshift bed on the floor. It was almost as if he was coming home, he noticed his case had already been brought up and Hedwig was sat with Ron’s owl Pig on top of the wardrobe.

 

“So mate what’s happened to you?”

 

Harry began raking for some pajamas as he explained to Ron how he wasn’t sure what had happened but over the last few weeks his appearance was changing rather fast. Pulling on the blue bottoms with snitches on that Hermione had gotten him last year he climbed into his bed.

 

“Must be puberty and all that,” Ron mumbled into his pillow embarrassed a red tint to his cheeks, Harry only barley understood it. The light began to dim as Harry’s eyes began to shut and before he knew it he was fast asleep.

 

The next morning Harry awoke to Hermione shaking him rather roughly, her face peering down on him. Her wild hair had been pulled back into a ponytail and a look of concern was etched on to her face. Harry knew almost at once he must have been having a nightmare but as he tried to think back to what he had been dreaming off all he could see was vivid dreams of him flying and there nothing hellish about that.

 

“What’s going on ‘Mione?” Harry slurred as sleep was still calling to him.

 

Hermione handed Harry’s his glasses, which caused a frown to form, he could see Hermione quite clearly and assumed he’d fell asleep with them on last night. Holding the glasses to his eyes his frown deepened when he realized he could hardly see out of them, in fact Hermione was incredibly blurry through the lens of the glasses. He noticed Hermione was watching him waiting for him but he couldn’t wrap his head round the fact he didn’t need his glasses. He knew that Hermione wouldn’t explain why she had roughly awoken him if didn’t put them on and so he shoved them onto his face and looked up at the brunette witch hoping that he looked attentive.

 

She sighed, “I don’t know Harry, you was tossing and turning in your sleep gripping hold of your face but you didn’t seem distressed, in actual fact you had smile on your face.”

 

Harry didn’t think the look of confusion helped at all and the fact he could hardly see a thing with his glasses on made his head hurt, “Oh well I wasn’t having a bad dream.”

 

Hermione sighed, “I didn’t think you where Harry in fact I think you should take a look in the nearest mirror.”

 

Irritated my Hermione’s lack of an answer he pushed himself up from the bed but almost tripped over the clothes he’d taken off last night. There was no way he was going to be able to see a thing wearing these glasses he’d probably do himself an injury. He took them off and glanced at Hermione to see her give him a questioning look, worry was etched on her face. Ron had no mirror in his room and so he made he way to the next level of Burrow where the bathroom was, Hermione following closely behind him.

 

Perhaps it was because he had hardly slept properly in the last few weeks, plagued with dreams about his Godfathers death and the return of Lord Voldemort but anger was bubbling up inside of him as Hermione continued to stare at him was worry and confusion. He opened the bathroom door but before Hermione could step inside he slammed the door closed in her face. He knew he would probably regret it later but right now he needed to compose himself and see what all the fuss was about.

 

He could smell the bacon cooking downstairs as she strode over to the mirror and knew that must be where Ron was and almost debated about leaving and heading straight for breakfast but whatever Hermione had seen had spooked her. Curiosity had gotten the better of him and when he glanced in the mirror it was at all what he expected. In fact it wasn’t even him who was looking back at Harry, he did not recognize the face in the mirror at all, and if it wasn’t for the fact his hair had been pushed back in his sleep and he could see the lightening bolt scar on his forehead he wouldn’t have thought it was him at all. Staring back at him was a face that he must admit seemed quite handsome, it had prominent cheekbones and a pointed nose, sunken eyes but where still the same almond shape and emerald color and his hair was now dead straight, there wasn’t even a kink. It was rounded around his face, with a swish and heavy bangs, when he pushed his fringe down, covered his forehead.

 

Harry hadn’t realized that his breath had caught in his throat until he let out a gasping breath. He noticed he didn’t resemble his father at all in fact the pale skin, emerald eyes and high cheekbones resembled his mother in everyway. He clutched on to the sink to steady himself, he felt slightly dazed as he continued to stare at his reflection. His thoughts turned to his glasses that where still clutched in his hand and he wondered why the sudden change was upon him, why over the last few weeks had changed his appearance in everyway possible, in fact as his eyes raked over his whole body in the mirror he was pretty sure his whole body had. He seemed taller, his arms more gangly and as he pulled at the t-shirt the covered his chest his shoulders where wider too. They almost fit into the oversized pajama top, although it was still massively loose on him around the middle.

 

His heart started racing and his thoughts where wild and once again he felt himself going slightly dizzy. What on earth was happening to him and why the hell was it happening to him? He pushed himself away from the sink and turned his back on the mirror he couldn’t see his appearance any longer without loosing his mind, he was sure of it.

 

A knock on the door and small voice carried through the wood, “Are you all right Harry? I think I should fetch someone.”

 

Harry didn’t respond at first, he needed to think. He thought over all the people he knew and closed his eyes in frustration trying to think of someone who could help him? Dumbledore could, he could probably explain it he always knew the answer but he was busy. He couldn’t even collect Harry from the Dursley’s there was no way Dumbledore would have time to answer stupid question about Harry’s appearance when it was probably down to puberty like Ron had said. He thought of anyone else who wouldn’t embarrass him over needing to ask questions every teenager went through. That’s when it hit him, Remus. Remus had sent him quite a few owls over the summer and he felt safe with werewolf.

 

Harry must haven taken to long to answer because Hermione knocked again. Swallowing slightly he managed to bark out Remus’ name and he heard Hermione’s footsteps disappearing.

 

He hoped Remus had stayed for breakfast instead of leaving last night after Harry had gone to bed. When he heard footsteps approaching he noted there where two different sets and he felt relief flood through him. The old Professor was still here. He heard Remus’ voice through the door and Harry told him to enter hoping to God Hermione wouldn’t follow him. She must have known that he need to speak to his old mentor alone because she didn’t appear and Remus had closed the door behind him.

Harry didn’t have to explain Remus gasped as he took a look at the boy in front of him. He could understand why Hermione was so distressed. This wasn’t usual puberty behavior at all. It was almost as if someone had cast a glamour over Harry.

 

The werewolf said nothing as he raked his eyes over the sixteen year old and Harry almost felt naked under the gaze. It was as if Remus was x-raying his whole body and he was tempted to cross his arms over his chest, he was irritated again. Why wasn’t Remus saying anything?

 

“I think we need to get you to the Headmaster. Immediately.”

 

Harry let the words sink in and his heart sunk, deep down he knew this was normal puberty behavior but hearing Remus’ words had made it real. His head hurt, he felt sick this was the last thing he needed. Why couldn’t he ever just be normal?

 

 

 


	2. The Pensieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry begins to learn he isn't who he was led to believe.

Albus Dumbledore was peering at Harry over his half moon spectacles, a look of worry on his face that made Harry’s stomach turn. If the Headmaster was concerned about Harry’s sudden change of appearance then it was definitely something to worry about. He sat rigidly in the chair opposite the old man; he’d sent Remus away to tell the Weasley’s Harry was fine but in doing so he’d taken away Harry’s only comfort. Remus had been someone who Harry felt safe with but now as he sat in the chair worries and over exaggerated scenarios where playing in his head. He wondered if Dumbledore knew this but he doubted it. The man may think he knew Harry but the proved to be wrong last year when the old coot had ignored him, hidden away from him and never told him of the prophecy.

 

If he had, Harry thought, Sirius would still be alive.

 

Shaking his head to get rid of the thoughts he expectantly looked up at Dumbledore for an explanation, no doubt another secret had caused this. The man looked weary in his chair but had yet to speak since Remus had disappeared. It seemed that Harry’s expectant gaze was enough to confirm something Harry had already thought, Dumbledore told him they where waiting for someone.

 

The door to Dumbledore’s office opened and Harry turned in his seat to see the last person he had wanted to see. Severus Snape was stood in the door way huffing, he wasn’t stood in his usual confident stance but instead Madam Pomfrey the healer was gripping tightly to his arm. He shrugged it off and growled something at her Harry couldn’t quite hear. The woman flung her arms up, her face like stone and turned at once to leave. Snape looked exhausted, the deep lines on his face more apparent as he limped into the room. Harry knew at once that he must have been tortured, no doubt by Voldemort. As much as he detested the man slowly making his way across the room he felt sorry for him. He’d felt the pain of Crutiastis curse and it was complete and utter agony. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy.

 

“Ah Severus thank you for making your way up,” Harry stared at him, he’d made the potions Professor walk all the way up here in his condition. Harry supposed he told Madam Pomfrey to help him but knowing Snape that would have hurt his pride more than anything else, “please take a seat.”

 

He watched as Snape sat down only then glancing at Harry but he had to take another look, this time he didn’t hide it he openly stared at Harry. He face still bland of all emotions but Harry could see in the cold dark eyes of the man that he was shocked. He thought he saw another emotion as well … love? Though he knew that Severus Snape would never look at him with love in his eyes.

 

“What is the meaning of this Albus?” Snape asked his tone a dull drawl, as always, “Surely Potter hasn’t cast a glamour on himself.”

 

Dumbledore shuck his head gravely, his eyes had lost their usual sparkle “There is something I was sent fifteen years ago that is addressed to you both.”

 

Harry noticed for the first time an unopened letter on the table and frowned, how could something addressed to him have been sent to Dumbledore and only been given to him now. He looked over at his potions master and could see him gritting his teeth, he must be thing the same thing Harry thought. He didn’t even understand why on earth it would be addressed to Snape too. He hadn’t even known the slimy git then.

 

Snape was holding out his hand for the letter. Harry’s head hurt, how did this explain his sudden shift in appearance? Why was Snape here? Why was it addressed to the both of them? Why was the letter so important? Who was it from?

 

A spinning sensation was starting to fill the room but he gripped hold of the chair to ground himself. All he wanted was an explanation, surely Dumbledore could have told him something worthwhile, something to ease his mind.

 

“Wait!” Harry gritted out, the room was still spinning “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?”

 

The man beside him turned to face him, his eyes flashing dangerously, “Use your manors Potter, if you have any.”

 

“I want to know what’s going on,” Harry insisted, he turned to Dumbledore, “over the past few weeks I’ve got a completely different face, I know it isn’t normal so _tell me_ what’s going on!” the emphasis on the ‘tell me’ was surely going to get through the both of them. Harry had gone all last year wondering, confused and scared. Dumbledore had promised to explain to him, keep him informed this year and already he felt like he was thrust back into a world of secrecy and plots.

 

“Harry I’m not entirely sure what is going one,” Dumbledore spoke his gentle voice easing Harry slightly, “however I am perfectly certain the letter will explain it.”

 

Harry sighed but this time he held his hand out for the letter; there was no way Snape was going to read it first. It was his letter too after all.

 

Dumbledore placed it in his hand and Harry sighed heavily, there on the front in a very neat scrawl was Harry and Snape’s name.  There was definitely no mistaking that the letter was meant to be to them both. He thought he felt the Professor go ridged next to him but when he looked over, he looked as calm as he always did.

 

Shaky hands his opened the letter and began to read.

 

_To my wonderful boys,_

_If you are receiving this letter then it must mean I am dead however lets not concentrate on that. You see I have so much to tell you, both of you, however it is much too difficult to describe in a letter. Enclosed is a vile, you must use it in Albus’ penseive. Try not to think too badly of me once you have seen, it hurt very much to do the things I did. I love you both, so very much._

_Harry my dear; I know you’ll be growing into fine young man. I wish I could have been there to see it. Take care and love always._

_Severus, you will be finding it hard to believe I am writing to you, I know you think we parted on harsh terms but please find it in your heart to forgive me, and look into the pensive. I know I will be asking so much of you, especially since I hope you do not think badly of me when you have seen. Take care, take care of Harry too. I love you, my longest friend._

_Always,_

_Mum, Lily._

Harry stared in shock, he mouth had gone dry and his already aching head was beginning to pound. His Mum had written this, his mum was going to show him her memories. He was going to see his Mum. He had brushed the letter, he finally felt like he had something of hers, no matter how confusing it was. He found that as long as he didn’t think on what the letter had said and only whom it was from it was rather comforting. He looked back over it, his eyes resting on the two sentences she had written pacifically for him. He felt a tightening in his chest and he knew he wanted to cry, not that he would in front of Snape.

 

Suddenly the letter was snatched out of his hand and he was brought back to where he was, Dumbledore’s office with Snape beside him. He was about to yell, he wanted his letter back when he saw who had taken it. Snape’s eyes were trained on the letter, he thought he could see tears in the potion masters eyes but it must have been a trick of the light. Harry let the urge to snatch the letter back drift away; it was Snape’s letter too.

 

“Where is this vile Albus?” Snape asked after he’d checked the envelope again.

 

“Ah yes, it was in the envelope I was sent with my own letter and yours. I’m afraid I have no idea what it shows or what it is about. I was instructed to keep it safe and if Harry where to ever appear changed, to present you both with the letter and vile.” He handed the vile to Snape who stood cautiously.

 

Harry looked between both men as Dumbledore stood too, he knew that meant they would be going to see his Mum’s memories but he most certainly didn’t want to have it ruined by Severus Snape.

 

“Are you coming with us Professor?” Harry asked before he stood, he didn’t glance at the man next to him, he could feel the rage radiating off of him.

 

“You brainless fool, the Headmaster would not impose on Lily Evan’s memories unless he had been invited. It would not be fair to breach her memories,” the Potions Master gritted out before Dumbledore could even reply.

Harry supposed it was rather disrespectful and he didn’t want to disrespect his much and so he stood, the three of them walking over to the pensieve. Snape poured the memories in and the settled in a swirl of grey. He began to feel panicked at seeing his Mother, even if it where only in memory form. He wasn’t about to mention this though, not in front of Snape no doubt he’d use it to belittle Harry.

 

“Would you rather do this individually or together?” the headmaster asked looking between both of them. Harry hadn’t thought of that, he’d thought that they would both go into the pensive. He looked at Snape and noticed he was actually looking at him to answer. He supposed with it been his Mother it was only right he could make the decision.

 

“Alone.”

 

Dumbledore nodded and stepped back indicating for Harry to enter the memories. He took a few deep breaths to settle the nerves inside of him before he stepped forward and leaned down, sinking his face in the silver swirls. The cold sensation didn’t last longer then a second, now he was falling. He never seemed to get use to that sensation as he landed smoothly and the memory began to form.

 

_Lily Evans sat in the library at Hogwarts her red hair flowing down her back and around her face like a lion’s mane. Harry noted the Head Girl badge pinned to her chest and knew it had to be her last year of school. He also saw it must have been quite late as the library was almost deserted. She had a book propped open but she didn’t appear to be reading it, instead she kept glancing to the door as though she was waiting for someone._

_Harry felt an ache inside of his chest and the urge to reach out to her, he wanted to talk to her, see her look at him and know who he was despite her age. Instead he hovered near her and placed a ghostly hand on her shoulder and wished she could feel his presence. He knew she wouldn’t be able too, this was a memory and he couldn’t change it even if he wanted too._

_The library doors swung open and tallboy with shoulder length jet-black hair walked in. He walked with an air of confidence, he face free of the adolescent look but still held a slight innocence. His face pale, a pointed nose that was rather large and dark eyes that seemed to be endless tunnels. Harry knew who it was instantly; a younger Severus Snape was walking straight over to his Mum. Harry to admit that the years had been unkind to Snape as boy before him was almost handsome._

_He stopped at the table and sat down opposite Lily. He looked … shy as he looked up at her, “I really didn’t expect to receive an owl from you, Lily,” he told her, his voice quiet and nervous, he looked down as if her where ashamed, “we haven’t spoken since fifth year.”_

_Harry remembered the moment. He’d seen that memory. He shuddered as he remembered Snape looking at his Mother with such distain as he’d called her a Mudblood. Harry gritted his teeth, he had every right to be ashamed of his actions. The slimy bastard had hurt his Mother._

_“I debated whether or not send it,” Lily said her voice soft and melodic and it instantly soothed Harry’s anger. His Mother speaking at last caused him take in a huge breath, “however it’s our last year Severus. I don’t want to leave here with out reconciling. You where my first friend, my best friend.”_

_“As you where mine,” Snape mumbled finally looking up again, “I really am sorry Lily. I never meant to, it was idiotic and I will never be able to rationalize my actions. No matter how angry had gotten that word should never have graced my lips.”_

_“No it shouldn’t,” his mother said forcibly, “but I forgive you Sev, I had a long time ago. It was pride that had gotten in the way.”_

_Snape grinned up and reached out for his Mother’s hand which she allowed him to take, “You really where the most important person in my life, you still are.”_

The memory began to dissolve around Harry but another was swirling into place before he’d had the chance to blink, there many people he recognized as the memory began to form.

 

_This time Harry was stood in an empty classroom his Mum was sat on one of the desks, a book in her hand again and as before she was barley reading it. Her attention again was drawn to the door, she was waiting from someone and Harry knew it must be Snape._

_The door opened and as Harry had guessed the younger Snape was walking in, he closed the door quietly and turned to face Lily a grin on his face, “We could have always studied in the library Lily,” he said walking towards her and embracing her in a hug._

_“No Severus the last thing you need is overbearing Slytherin’s forcing you to choose between your house and friend. We don’t want a repeat of fifth year besides I like sneaking about with you, it gives it a sense of adventure,” she smiled at him her eyes glinting with mischief._

_“You really are quite something,” Snape murmured affection laced in his voice._

_Harry suddenly felt he was imposing on a rather private memory and he had to force himself to stay put, his mum had wanted him to see this, it meant something._

_“Cleverest witch of my age, so I’ve been told,” her voice was light and held amusement but Harry was instantly reminded of Hermione and smiled at the thought. Hermione really was the cleverest with of her age._

_Shaking his head out of his thoughts he watched as the two students sat at the table and pilled books on to it._

_“Lily before we begin I would just like to say I’m so very thankful that you have forgiven me, that we’re friends again,” he cleared his throat, “I’ve really missed the time we use to spend together and it is reminding me once again how utterly wonderful and amazing you are.”_

_Lily blushed, her face matching the red of her hair and hid her face in the falling strands, “I am too Sev, I’ve really missed you. I … I hadn’t quite realized just how much until we began spending time together again.”_

_Snape reached out and placed a hand gently on her chin pulling it up, “Lily,” he seemed to notice what he was doing because he pulled away a slight tint to his own cheeks. He gave her a smile and took a deep breath, “there is something else I should tell you.”_

_She nodded and placed a comforting hand on his, stroking it, Harry thought of how intimate it was. Snape had really loved his mum and in turn she had loved him too. It was hard thought and it made his stomach feel queasy but seeing the happiness on his Mum’s face, it really was quiet something._

_“I … Lilly I’ve loved you for quiet sometime, since the first day I met you I think. In that meadow where I showed you magic. Even after the time we spend apart it didn’t disappear, I longed to be with you and to be able to tell you but after you’d rebuffed my fifth attempt at an apology I thought it best to leave you alone. I don’t much care if you don’t feel the same way,” he sighed glancing up at her, “I just want you to know that I do. That I will always love you.”_

_Lily seemed unable to rid the shock that had washed over her; she started at him that felt like an eternity for him let alone Snape. It seemed she shuck her head free of it eventually though and she grinned, a huge smile that seemed to light up her whole face, her eyes shone, she radiant in that moment as all her worried seemed to have slipped away and she was blissfully happy. Instead of saying anything she stood up and gripping Snape’s hand pulled him up too. What she did next should have disgusted Harry but it seemed right, it seemed that although he hated Snape in that moment he was all she wanted as she kissed him, showing him just how much she loved him too._

The memory faded and Harry felt for sure that was the last once, hadn’t he seen enough even if it didn’t explain his sudden change of appearance? It appeared his Mum didn’t think so because another memory was surrounding him.

 

_This time his mother was dressed in muggle attire as she sat at the table of a cottage, a coffee in her hand and newspaper in the other. She was dressed in an overly large grey jumper and fluffy pajama pants. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun as she pored over an article._

_Harry hadn’t noticed someone else walk into the room but as Snape began to clatter around for pots he sighed. It appeared even out of Hogwarts their relationship had lasted sometime._

_“We need to discus or argument, not smash the pans around,” Lily muttered glancing up from her paper, “Severus please sit down, make yourself a coffee and we can talk this though properly.”_

_Snape turned; he was very much a man now. His hair didn’t hang greasily and his face was so heavily lined but he was beginning to look like the man Harry knew. This Snape however didn’t seem so forbidden or dark, he was almost carefree but Harry could see that a weight was still on his shoulders. Sighing the man nodded and poured himself a coffee and sat down._

_Harry was staring to see a pattern and it amused him, they had always been sat around a table._

_“Are you ashamed of me?” Snape asked his voice was void of any emotion just how he knew it to be but his eye shone of hurt and betrayal._

_Lily rolled her eyes, Harry thought this was quite insensitive but then he saw it was done with almost light heartedness, “Of course not Severus. You are a wonderful man who is doing so much for this war. You’re exceptionally brave and kind hearted I have nothing to be ashamed of.”_

_“Then I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want me to leave my duties behind. We cannot have proper life, I cannot marry you or have children with you if I carry on. The Dark Lord would never stand for it and as Dumbledore insisted I become the spy for the order the only thing I can think of it to leave my duties now.”_

_“Do you really think it would be that simple Severus? I understand everything you’re saying, I really do. I want to marry you, why do you think I accepted your proposal? For now, however, we keep our relationship secret like always. As long as Voldemort lives you would be in danger. How do you think he would take finding out one of his most loyal supports is actually a spy and in love with a muggleborn. He would seek you out and kill you for your betrayal. I would rather keep our relationship secret that have you killed.”_

_Snape sighed, he seemed to know it was true but it didn’t stop he from reaching out again, “I know I would be a marked man Lily and I know it would be dangerous but there are ways around that. I could keep you safe. We’ve been hiding our relationship for the past three years, even the order members don’t know in fear they get captured and tortured. I don’t suppose you know how hard it is to have you at my side at those meetings and not reach out to you?”_

_“Oh Severus I know it’s hard. There are plenty of times I’ve want to reach out to you too but it isn’t only us we have to think about protecting, without your inside knowledge we’d have nothing. We put more innocent people in danger then they already are. At least this way we are able to save a few more.”_

_Harry noticed Severus defeated expression and knew he had given up. Instead he stood up and kissed Lily’s forehead and walked back over to the pots he been banging before._

A silver swirl later Harry was stood inside Godric’s Hallow, he knew it instantly from the dreams of his parent’s death.

 

_He gasped when he saw his father sat on the sofa; his hands clasped in his lap at he peered at Lily. She was in an armchair a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes puffy and tear tracks glistened on her face. Harry wanted to reach out and console her, wrap his arms around her and tell her it would be okay but he stood ridged as he glanced between his two parents._

_“You’re pregnant,” James’ voice was soft, “to Severus?”_

_Harry’s eyes widened and he inhaled deeply, a wave of sickness flew over him and his headache pounded once again. That couldn’t be right, it wasn’t right, Lily wasn’t pregnant and if she was it wasn’t to Snape._

_“Yes,” her voice a hoarse whisper, “please James you must not say anything if word gets out then…” her voice trailed off and fresh wave of sobs wracked her body, she didn’t let that stop her and she raised her hand to stop his Dad’s protests. His Dad’s … maybe James wasn’t his Dad, “We’ve been friends for a good time now James. In fact, we’re exceptionally close. I haven’t come here to weep at your feet I’ve come here to ask for help.”_

_James nodded knowing it wasn’t best to interrupt Lily._

_“I need you to,” whatever she was about to say obviously caused her a lot of pain because her eyes filled with unshed tears and she had to swallow I good few times before she continued, “I need you to pretend it your child James. I know I’m asking for a lot, too much but you where the only person I could turn too. I, if Voldemort finds out it’s Severus’, if he finds out he has been spying on him all along he’ll kill all three of us.”_

_This time James didn’t let Lily continue, “Severus would protect you. You know he would.”_

_“He would or he’d die trying I agree but he would be a marked man James. We do not know how long this war will last and we would have to flee, hide, for how long? Who would subject their own child to that?” She rose tucked a strand f her hair behind her, “It wouldn’t only be Severus who would be in danger and he would do everything in his power to protect us but we’re talking about a child. Voldemort would kill the baby too because of Severus’ betrayal. I, I don’t want my baby in danger James.”_

_A sob escaped her lips and tears strolled down her face. Harry stood still watching the scene in front of him a sense of dread filled his entire body but he already knew it, he knew what was going to play out in these memories. He knew why his appearance had changed so suddenly, Severus Snape was his father._

_James stood up and wrapped his arms around Lily and hushed comforting words in her ear. When Lily’s crying and subsided again he spoke up, “What of Severus? How will you explain that you are carrying my child? He will no doubt hate me for this.”_

_“I’ve already thought of it,” Lily mumbled, “I plan to alter his memories. I can’t go as far back seventh year it would be far to risky but a year or so after, it can be done.”_

_James’ face fell, “Messing around with people’s memories is dangerous and illegal Lily and you can’t honestly think this is a good idea.”_

_Lily’s face consorted into one of pain and rage, “Of course I know!” she snapped, “but I need to do it, I need to do it for my son and for Severus. I wouldn’t want to live if either one of them died.”_

_James sighed, “What do you plan to change about his memories Lily?”_

_“I’ve already thought of that too, it’s best you know though so you can stick to the, ah, story. After the first couple of years outside of Hogwarts we break up. It’s too dangerous with his spying missions. After that I’ll erase all memories of myself apart from Order meetings.”_

_James nodded, “For your sake I’ll do this Lily. I love you too much to see you in danger, or your child.”_

The memory fizzled out and Harry was left feeling numb. His whole world was torn apart. He felt the anger rising up in him, how could his Mother have done this to him? All this time he’d had a father, a father that was still alive and he’d been staying at the Durlsey’s. He had gone all his childhood without love and affection when it had been so obvious that Snape had wanted children and would have wanted Harry, to protect him too.  That didn’t change the fact _Snape_ was his Dad. The man detested Harry and Harry hated him too. There would no father-son relationship there besides he was almost an adult now he didn’t need a father. This whole thing was a pile of absolute hippogriff shit. Why did it matter now when Harry was almost of age?

 

_The memories swirled around again and this time Harry fell backwards slightly. His mother was stood staring into a cot at a baby; a baby that Harry knew for certain was him. As he stepped closer he knew it at once from the baby photo’s Hagrid had given him. The door behind Lily and Harry opened and James stepped up to the cot, he gazed lovingly down at the baby and bumped his shoulder into Lily’s._

 

_“We’d have made absolutely beautiful children, known it all along and that proves it,” he grinned at Lily but the witch was frowning._

_“James,” her voice stern and he help up his hands in mock surrender, “I’m so glad the charm worked or we would have been able to say he was your son for long.”_

_“It really is clever but then again you’re awfully clever aren’t you?” Harry watched his mother sigh and he wondered if she was took back to the first time Snape had told her he loved her. He knew he wouldn’t get a reply so he carried on, “Will it last forever then?”_

_“I’m not sure,” she said, “I invented the charm but I didn’t exactly have lots of time to see how it worked. I checked to see if it would work and it did, without damage, pain or suffering that was all I needed. I won’t be sure when or if it’ll wear off but I only hope it will. I plan on telling Severus when this war is over.”_

_“I know Lily and I wouldn’t ever stop you. Severus deserves to know the truth.”_

_“I only hope both Severus and Harry understand when they do find out.”_

Harry knew instantly that, that was the last memory the familiar tugging sensation was dragging him back to Dumbledore’s office but all he wanted to do was stay, he wanted to relive the memories over and over again to see his Mum and Dad … not his Dad. James wasn’t his Dad. Snape was, but Harry groaned, Snape had been extremely amazing to his Mum, he never ever thought the man could be that kind and _loving_. It didn’t mean Harry liked the idea of him been his Father though. He detested everything Severus Snape walked on, even after seeing the memories. Snape had bullied and belittled Harry since he laid eyes on Harry. He thought back to what he’d seen and how his Mum had altered Snape’s memories and then he thought to how James Potter had always flirted with his Mother. Snape probably thought she picked James over him and Harry was a very huge reminder of that, it was no excuse for Snape’s behavior but Harry almost understood it.

 

Dumbledore’s office appeared around Harry and he tried to focus on the wall rather then the two men around him. He didn’t want to be there and he most certainly didn’t want to answer even of the man’s questions. He stepped back and found that he swayed slightly and a tight hand wrapped it’s self around his arm.

 

“Do try to be careful Potter,” Snape’s voice drawled but he could barley hear it, everything was spinning he could vomit rising in his stomach. His whole world had been ripped from beneath him; he now had a father who loathed him, who couldn’t stand to be around him.

 

Swallowing the lump in his throat he ripped himself away from the grasp. He wanted to get away, he needed to get away, Harry had wanted and dreamed of having a family for as long as he could remember and had eventually grown use to idea he was never going to have one. He would never have someone who loved him. The idea that it had been so close all along, it had been dangling right in front of his eyes and now he still wouldn’t have it was a form of torture. His whole body ached for the love of a Father and to know it wouldn’t happen, that Snape wouldn’t embrace him in his arms, not that he wanted the man too, stabbed though him like a knife. He gasped out and felt himself falling backwards his eyes closed tightly and everything went black. He didn’t feel his body connect with the ground or both men’s hands checking to see if he was okay, he didn’t know that both men had panicked at the sight of him falling.


	3. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry learns some shocking news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the lack of update. I've been so busy lately, no excuse I know but I've just gotten an new puppy and already have 9 month old pup. It's been really hectic but anyway everything is starting to quieten down again now so I should be back to updating once a week.

Harry awoke to the familiar sight of the Hogwarts infirmary. He knew before he opened his eyes where he was, the smell and the fell of the bed cloths gave it away. He pulled the cover over his head in refusal to leave sleep behind just yet, scrunching his eyes shut he willed sleep to come but it was futile. He was wide-awake and he could hear footsteps and low voices approaching. Groaning he sat up rubbing his eyes, it was then that he remembered why he was at Hogwarts during the summer; it didn’t explain why he was in the infirmary though. He tried to think back to the last thing he remembered and swore under his breath. He must have fainted, he felt ridiculous and embarrassed. 

His head was aching again, too much had happened over the past two days that he was actually starting to wish he was back at the Dursley’s. Harry actually shivered in disgust at the thought, he never thought in a million years he’d ever wish to be back there. Thinking of his Mother’s sister made him remember the memories he’d watched.

Severus Snape was his father.

A wave of nausea swept through him and he reached for the bowl next to him. He couldn’t quite get his head around the fact that the one person, other than Voldemort, that had made his life miserable was actually his father. Not to mention that he had no idea where that left him. He didn’t even know who he was anymore because he certainly wasn’t Harry Potter. Had his whole life been one big lie? After all he’d been lied to until he turned eleven about his parents and magic, he’d been lied to about Voldemort and the Prophecy until last year and now, now he’d been lied to about his own father. 

Thankfully the bile in the back of his throat didn’t come up and he placed the bowl on the side cabinet. A deep hope in the back of his head leapt up and whispered about happy families and Christmas with a Dad but he shoved it away. Just because he wanted a Dad didn’t mean he could accept Snape as his. He’d rather live the rest of his life with a giant flobberworm then Snape. He closed his eyes and wished again that sleep would come and he could wake up from the horrid nightmare that was his life. 

Hushed voices had now entered the infirmary and were making there way towards his bed but he didn’t feel like conversing right now, not when he didn’t even know what was going on in his own head. He knew more then anything he’d dreamed of having a family but surely that didn’t mean he could just let go of everything that had happened and give into Snape as his Dad. Not to mention he was pretty sure that Snape wouldn’t want him anyway, he hated Harry just as much as Harry hated him. 

The voices stopped as they reached Harry’s bed, he heard hurried footsteps coming over to the guests and he knew it would be Madam Pomfrey. 

“Albus,” She greeted, “Severus.”

“Hello Poppy,” the quiet comforting voice of the Headmaster carried across the room. It was really quiet amazing how Dumbledore could project his voice like that, Harry thought, “Has young Harry woken up yet?”

“Not that I know of.”

There was a silence that was really quiet deafening, Harry tried to keep himself still. He just wanted to be left alone, he needed time to work through this and more than anything he wanted his friends. 

“Perhaps we should leave him Albus,” he heard the sullen voice of his Professor … not his Professor, his father. 

Dumbledore hummed slightly and Harry felt the edge of the bed sink, “I understand your unease Severus however, as we have discussed, but now that the spell has been broken there will be no hiding from the matter.”

“He needs to wake up in his own time Albus,” Madam Pomfrey told the headmaster.

“Oh I do believe young Harry here is awake, isn’t that right Harry?”

Harry’s breath got caught in his throat. He should have known the headmaster would know he was awake; he stiffened as he felt a hand pat his arm. Sighing he let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes the bright lights of the infirmary dazzled him and he was disorientated as he tried to search for the face of Albus Dumbledore. He found the sparkling blue eyes and felt a sense of ease wash over him. Dumbledore would make this right, he always made things right. 

“Ah hello Harry,” Dumbledore said a smile on his face, “I trust you feel well rested.”

When Harry nodded Dumbledore smiled brightly and stood up, “Do you think you could join me for a cup of tea in my office?” 

Harry tried to think of an excuse, that he still felt dizzy or nauseous but as he glanced at the two other people at the room and his eyes landed on Snape he frowned. The man looked … worried. His eyes darker and the lines in his face where etched more deeply, it seemed like the man hadn’t had any sleep for days. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to talk to the headmaster, he could probably get some answers. He turned back to the elderly man but a thought dawned on him he couldn’t trust this man to tell him the truth, he was the same man who’d kept the prophecy from him, who’d let him stay at the Dursley’s all these years and, now that he thought about it, never spoken of a letter he had received from his mother. This could all have been avoided if he’d given the letter straight away.

“Actually Professor I’m still feeling a bit ill, maybe later?”

“Not to worry dear boy I may not be as good a healer as Madam Pomfrey but I do have a few spells hidden up my sleeves.”

Harry what to outright groan but he held it in as he nodded stiffly. He looked down and noticed he’d been changed into one of the gowns patients wore and blushed. Who had changed him? He cleared his throat as he looked up and saw all three of them staring at him. They seemed to understand because Madam Pomfrey rushed to beside cabinet and pulled out the clothes he’d been wearing and with that turned on her heel and walked away. He watched as Snape and Dumbledore moved further up the infirmary their backs to him. 

He found himself stumbling to his feet and pulling on his clothes. The dizziness he’d been feeling earlier returned and he gripped on to the bedframe to steady himself. He was disgusted at how weak he was been, why did it affect him so much? He looked down at his body and noticed that his muscles seemed to be getting more defined on he newly shaped bone structure. Perhaps that was why he was feeling so out of it.

Once he was dressed he turned back around to see the two men conversed in a hushed conversation and a slight anger bubbled inside of him. Whatever they were talking about concerned him, he should know. He gritted his teeth, it was always secrets around here. 

Dumbledore seemed to sense Harry’s stare because he turned round and hummed happily to himself as he waved Harry over. Taking his wand off of the side of the cabinet he followed them up to Dumbledore’s office, the silence between the three of them spoke volumes. 

After taking a seat in the familiar office he was dragged back to when he’d found out about the memories, everything was the same Dumbledore staring over his half-moon spectacles, Snape siting stiffly at Harry’s side. They where sat in silence and Harry almost wanted to scream. His body was tense and aching, his head was still pounding and the silence was ringing in his ears. Rubbing his face tiredly and grinding his teeth he took a in a sharp breath. The anger he still couldn’t control from the end of last term was building and he wanted to reach out and smash something against the wall to break the dam silence. However he’d broken so many of Dumbledore’s things last year that instead he clenched his fists together.

“Well, what’s going on?” Harry asked, “When can I go back to the burrow? We know why I’ve changed now, it isn’t a curse or anything so I can go back, right?”

He felt a sudden need to feel the comforting hands of Hermione and hear one of Ron’s dumb jokes. He wanted to be surrounded by the laughter of his friends or the comforting hug of Hermione. He wanted her to tell him it was going to be okay, that they’d stand by him like she always did. He hadn’t realized how desperate he was to see Hermione, the urge to see her hand cooled the anger and now everything in him just wanted to leave Hogwarts and get back to his friends. He supposed that just like Hogwarts where his home, his friends where too.   
“I am afraid Harry there have been some changes that are not physical,” Dumbledore said bringing Harry out of his thoughts.

“What?!” Harry screeched, “Like what?”

“Manors Pot-,” Snape broke off and looked away from the boy sat next to him his voice hadn’t held the usual hatred, in fact it sounded dull and weary. 

“Please Harry calm down and I will explain,” When Harry nodded stiffly and sat back in his chair Dumbledore gave him a small smile and continued, “Once you had found out about your true parentage it seemed the curse your Mother placed broke every precaution Lily and James had taken. After you had collapsed Severus and I had time to look into the matter. It appears that on all records it now states that Severus is your father, it also appears that all parental rights have been revoked from the Dursley’s and you now belong in Severus’ care.”

Harry let the words sink in, his mind racing. He had to live with Snape? Snape would be taking care of him? He chanced a look at the man next to him but he was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. A dread turned in his stomach; it would be worse then living with the Dursley’s. 

“What if I don’t want too?” As the words fell from his lips he was almost certain he saw the dark haired man flinch but he couldn’t be sure, “I mean, what if I choose to stay with the Dursley’s?”

“I’m afraid Harry you wouldn’t be able too, not only on all legal basis but your mother’s protection has been broken there. Going back would put not only you but them in danger too.”

He stared wide-eyed at the headmaster and swallowed the lump in his throat. There was nothing he could do? Not to mention the fact Snape didn’t want him, he had to have Harry, no wonder he looked so glum. He would have to put up with Harry until he turned seventeen. Then another thought hit him.

“So I can’t go back to the burrow?”

He could see Hermione’s face swim in to focus and the Ron with his arm wrapped round her. They’d be alone at the burrow with out him? He had no idea why the image made his heartache but he supposed it was because they would get up to all sorts of fun and he’d be stuck with his most hated Professor. 

“Not right now Harry, you and Severus have a lot to talk about.”

He looked at the man next to him, he hadn’t moved since Harry last looked at him, he sat stiffly and the boy wondered if had some sort of seizer they didn’t know about. 

“If all the legal stuff has change,” Harry quietly said, not much louder than a whisper, “does that mean my last name has too?” He hadn’t realized he hadn’t been speaking to Dumbledore. In fact he’d been speaking to Snape, his eyes focused on the man.

Snape seemed to realize because he looked up and caught Harry’s eyes, he seemed to notice the scared look on Harry’s face because just as quietly as Harry had spoken he did too, “Yes, you now have my last name.”

Harry nodded it seemed that although the voice was still dull and sullen when it didn’t hold the bitterness or hatred it could be quiet comforting. 

“Perhaps you could take Harry to his new quarters for the summer Severus?”

The man nodded and stood glancing at Harry and waiting for the young man to stand too before he began walking. The walk down to the dungeons was awkward and silent. The two men walked side by side but a gap bigger than a hippogriff was between them. Harry tried to remember the way but there was so many twists and turns he was sure to get lost and if sensing his confusion the man spoke up.

“It wouldn’t do to remember the way Mr. …,” Snape cleared his throat, “It changes every time.

“How do you remember it then Professor?”

This actually caused the older man to smirk, “I created the decoys, the twisting corridors, I would think I could remember the way to my own quarters.”

They reached a portrait of a glowering man with long red hair and a pointed noise. He didn’t speak as Snape barked the password and then told Harry it Moondew. He should have known it was a potion ingredient. The continued down a long corridor where they reached a door and Harry watched as Severus waved his wand in the air.

“My quarters are extremely well protected, no one can enter these rooms unless their wand is added to list if it is they may enter. Not to mention it is also guarded by decoys and a password. If you could pass me your want I shall add it?”

Harry nodded and pulled out his wand giving it to the man he watched as he began mumbling an incantation and Harry’s wand began to glow. When the wand had returned to normal he passed it to Harry.

“To enter you wave your wand in the air, it will recognize the core and wood of the wand but even then will not allow you to enter until you have pressed your hand against the wood of the door,” he proceed to show Harry. The place where Snape had placed his hand began to glow orange, almost as if it was imprinting the hand mark into the door. After a couple of seconds the door swing open and Harry immediately feels the warmth surge towards him, “do remember to place your hand on the door or it will fling you backwards when you try to enter and send me an alert that someone is trying to break in.”

“Will that work for me now or do I have to do something like you did to my wand?”

Snape shuck his head, “You hand imprint is on your wand, the incantation I did was for both.”

Harry followed Snape into his quarters and had to resist the urge to shiver. This was a side to the man not many people got to see and he felt like he was intruding. He knew he was, but it made him feel guilty. A short hallway led into an open living room with a roaring fire, two leather bound chairs and a table that seated four. The walls where lined with bookshelves that stacked books and for a moment Harry wondered if Snape owned more books then the Hogwarts library. It felt extremely homely and Harry didn’t think it was possible. He had imagined Snape living in the cold walls of the dungeons with nothing put cauldrons surrounding him. 

“If you would like to order food you use the floo powder to call down to the kitchen. My personal study is the door straight ahead,” Harry hadn’t noticed this door, “It is where I prefer to mark essays and brew more personal potions.” 

Snape the moved back down the hallway they had come from and Harry followed, “This would be my bedroom. Do not enter under any circumstances unless you are dying however if you have a problem and I am in there … you may knock,” Snape pointed at the next-door, “That will be your room. I have been told the house-elves have already brought your things. You may take a look and make sure your possessions are all there.”

Harry nodded but didn’t move from his spot next to Snape and when he heard the man sigh Harry gritted his teeth. He couldn’t get use to this, he just couldn’t. 

“Harry go investigate your room and check your belongs, I shall fire call some tea and we shall have a chat. The headmaster was correct we do have a lot to talk about.”

Harry didn’t know if it was due to the Professor calling him by his first name but he found his feet walking towards his room but just before he entered Snape cleared his throat, Harry looked back at his Professor and noted the man seemed quite nervous, “This is your home, feel free to make your room your own.”

With that the man turned and walked away, Harry felt a sudden lurch in his stomach and for the first time since this all began it wasn’t with unease. It was with longing and hope. He had a home and he had a … father.


	4. Wrong End of the Stick

Harry opened the door to his new room and tried to stop the confusing thoughts filling his head. For a minute before he’d entered the room he had been filled with hope that maybe he could have a father and a home, but as he entered the rather bland room Harry couldn’t help but feel lost. How was he suppose to trust a man, like a man who had made his life miserable for five years just because he had looked like James Potter. Harry begrudgingly could understand why the man had hated his supposed father so much, what with the bullying in school and then the women he loved supposedly having left him for James. It didn’t make it acceptable to bully and hate Harry though, he wasn’t his … he wasn’t James. 

Sighing he looked around the room, it was at least two sizes bigger then the one he’d had at the Dursley’s. It was spacious with a bookshelf on the left hand wall, a double bed in the middle, a wardrobe and a desk. He noticed a door leading to what he assumed was a bathroom and a suitcase at the foot of his bed. It felt strange to say he had room of his own, he’d never felt like he had at the Dursley’s it had always been Dudley’s second bedroom to him.

Shaking his head he gritted his teeth, he didn’t have a room here either. He didn’t want to believe he had a home here or someone he called Dad. If anything the Burrow was more of a home to him or Hogwarts. He saw in irony at that considering he was technically at Hogwarts. He supposed he meant he didn’t want to think he had a home here in the dungeons, he never felt safe or welcome down here and that was the way it was going to stay. He kicked his suitcase in frustration and ran hands over his tired face. Harry saw a bit of parchment sticking out of the side and supposed he’d better check his belongings like Snape had said. 

He reached out to open it when he suddenly stopped and mentally kicked himself, if he started emptying his truck, it was start to feel like he was moving in for good and he most certainly wasn’t. Harry only had one more year and then he would be seventeen, he could do as he pleased and he most certainly wouldn’t be staying with Snape. 

Sitting down on the bed rigidly he couldn’t help but think of Snape. He’d been almost kind to Harry, as he’d walked him down to the dungeons answering his questions. He’d also shown him around his quarters even suggested that if Harry needed him, he could wake him – yeah right like he’d do that. It was a weird feeling to think Snape had actually tried to be thoughtful. Perhaps the man wasn’t as bad as he seemed. That made Harry groan. He couldn’t think like that, he didn’t want to think like that. 

He knew Snape had wanted to speak to him once he’d checked his belongings but Harry decided to stay in the enclosed room instead. Away from the cold dark eyes and sneering voice. However the gnawing feeling of been trapped in the room that Snape had called his made his skin crawl. He knew if he could just talk to his friends, see Hermione’s comforting face or hear Ron make a god-awful joke he’d feel better. It didn’t seem like he’d be seeing his friends for a long time though and Harry felt an ache in his chest at the prospect. 

He figured he’d do anything right now for one of Hermione’s hugs yet she’d probably be giving them all to Ron right now. He wondered if they’d be sat in Ron’s room giggling and having a whale of a time without him. It made Harry’s skin itch and a rage fill inside of him, he suppose he was just jealous that his friends got to have such a fun fucking time while he was stuck here with Snape. He couldn’t help but picture Hermione’s face all giddy and happy at one of Ron’s ridiculous jokes and wonder if she missed him? Shaking his head he couldn’t help but feel ridiculous. It wasn’t their fault that Harry had to spend his summer here without them. He supposed he just didn’t want to be left out of whatever they where doing right now. 

Harry couldn’t stand the thoughts rushing around his head and the only escape he had was talking to Snape. He tried to way up which one was worse when a thought accrued to him. Once Snape had spoken to Harry maybe he’d be able to see his friends, wasn’t that was the headmaster had said? He couldn’t return to the burrow until he’d talked to Snape?

He shot from his bed and flung open the door, it took everything in him not to run down the hallway and into the sitting room. Taking a deep breath he opened the door to see Snape sat at the table, a newspaper in his hand and a cup of what looked like coffee in the other. 

Snape didn’t look up from the paper at Harry’s entrance all though he did speak as the boy approached the table, “I trust your belongs where all in order?”

Harry hadn’t actually looked at his belongs so he didn’t particularly know but he wanted the conversation over and done with so he could ask about his friends, “Um yeah, is Hedwig still at the burrow?”

With that Snape placed the paper down on the table and peered at Harry, “She’s in the owlery it would do her no good to be cooped up down here.”

Harry nodded and an awkward silence filled they air, he picked at his nails not bothering to look up at the Professor. He wondered what Snape could possible have to say one the subject anyway, he probably didn’t want Harry anymore than Harry wanted him to be his father.

“I do have a few rules however I’m sure you have many questions,” Harry looked up as the Professor said this, he supposed he should have questions, he should have lots of burning questions but the only thing he even remotely cared about was if he could see he friends anytime soon.

“No Professor,” He muttered looking down at the table again.

“Very well you will be back at my quarter no later than nine o’clock on an evening, I will not stop you from exploring the castle or the grounds. You will not be able to discus your parentage over owl, if it falls into the wrong hands before we are ready it will be a deadly mistake. You will eat your meals with myself and you will not be allowed to laze about in bed all morning. I expect you to work on your homework on a daily basis and once it is finished we maybe able to work on some of your defensive spells. Other than that feel free to do as you please.”

Harry nodded, “I … understand that this has come to a shock to us both Mr. Pot-,” Snape stopped and glanced at the boy but had didn’t appear to have noticed the slip, “When your Mother and I had been together, even from the memories she had not altered we had spoken about having children. We certainly wanted them, I never thought I would have them after…” He stopped again and Harry noticed how hard it seemed for Snape to spit out what he was saying, “I wish to handle this properly. Find a way we both feel comfortable.”

“Right,” Harry said, “Look I get it, you don’t particularly want me as your son and I don’t really want you as my Dad so we’re just going to put up with it while we have to, make it easy for us both. So now we have that cleared can I see my friends?”

Harry watched as the man face changed and anger danced across his face, “You ungrateful little,” He took a deep breath, “This has nothing to do with…” Harry saw the man clench his fists, “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up, “You have no right to speak to me like that:”

“I have every right in the world you idiotic boy, you may not be James Potter’s son but you certainly act the part. You have no sense in that brain of yours. Now get out of my sight!”

Harry defiantly stayed where he was stood, he jaw jutting out, “I’d rather be James Potter’s son then yours. Least he was a worthy man!”

Harry knew instantly he had crossed a line the man before him had stood, his face a controlled mask but his eyes screamed just how angry he was … and pain. Did Harry see pain in his eyes?

“You are a selfish, ignorant little boy who knows nothing about worth. Yes James Potter was a hero in everyone’s eyes but I saw him for he really was. A bully, if you think any man who thought it was fun to torment and ridicule someone for they’re entire seven years at Hogwarts has worth you are a sad, pathetic idiot. Now get out of my sight before I make you!”

Harry felt the anger wash out of his body, he knew he’d been a fool to say the things he had. He knew how much the Professor had been hurt by James Potter. He turned on his heal and walked back to the room he’d been allocated. His mind was reeling. He doubted he’d be able to see his friends at all now. He flung himself down on the bed and brought his knees up to his chest. 

He found himself wanting to cry but it had been his own stupid fault he’d made the Professor angry. It hadn’t appeared that Snape didn’t want him for a son and he had no idea why he’d said those things. Perhaps it was because that’s what he thought Snape would want to hear. Harry would never expect Snape to want him and he was sure he was nothing but a burden to the man. Yet as he went over the all the past few interactions he had with Snape he’d been nothing be decent and almost caring to him. He’d tried to be less like a scary potions master who detested him and more like someone who was making an effort to make him feel safe and at home. He was even going to let Harry stroll around the castle and grounds, which meant he could go flying and what had Harry done? Slapped him verbally in the face. 

Why was everything so dam confusing? Why couldn’t Snape just tell Harry if he wanted him or not? 

Groaning he lay down and buried his head in the pillow. He stayed there for the rest of the day until sleep finally took its hold on him.


End file.
